


As Long As We Have Each Other

by SnowMoonyx



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Gen, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21970234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowMoonyx/pseuds/SnowMoonyx
Summary: Kihyun was fine. He told himself that over and over as he prepared to go to bed at their hotel in Chicago.But when the peace fell away to a impromptu panic attack, the others were only a phone-call away.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	As Long As We Have Each Other

Kihyun was fine. No really, he was. They were almost done with their world tour, currently in the largest city in Illinois, and sitting on the bed of his and Minhyuk's shared hotel-room just taking in the stunning view out the window was pretty damn peaceful. Something about the knowledge that their group was what he would consider successful, that he wouldn't trade any of the members for anything, and the fact that they would have the next day in Chicago off all joined together in a perfect harmony, filling his chest with warmth and his head with peace.

Kihyun was fine. 

"Kihyunne, me and Kyunnie are gonna go get some food, you coming with?" Minhyuk's voice, although a bit shrill, washed rather gently over Kihyun's sensitive ears, breaking him out of his trance. He barely looked over his shoulder at Minhyuk who stood by the door, keycard in hand and already dressed to head back outside.

"Nah, I think I'm gonna turn in early. Get something that isn't too unhealthy now."

"Yeah yeah mom," Minhyuk huffed, waving him off. "Alrighty, sleep well Ki." With that his barely older friend slipped out the door, closing it gently behind.

Kihyun stretched his arms above his head, sighing. Oh yeah, he was definitely ready for bed. But first he needed a shower. It didn't take long until he found himself underneath the gentle stream of water that was perhaps a bit too hot, leaving his skin bright and red, but he had this feeling of coldness suddenly washing over him and he wanted it to disappear. A pit appeared in his stomach. Kihyun frowned, trying to ignore it. Why would he be feeling down? He had no reason to be. 

Kihyun was _fine_.

Few minutes later he found himself sitting once again on the edge of his bed, frowning at the feeling of... _something_ not disappearing. Why would he be feeling, well, _sad_? There wasn't a reason to. He kept repeating it like he mantra. He couldn't be sad. Yet his body begged to differ, and it didn't take long until he found himself crouched over his knees, arms wrapped around his waist in an attempt to ease the feeling. 

It wasn't working. Somehow his body had decided that it didn't want him happy, and if he was to be honest, just a little bit, he had to describe the feeling as anxious and...Panicked? Yeah, panicked, he concluded with as his breathing suddenly picked up, something akin to halfway sobs tearing out of his throat, removing his ability to properly draw in oxygen. 

Alright, _that_ was concerning. He didn't know what to do. He tried again and again to draw in proper breaths, but the sobs were getting worse, clogging his esophagus. Something wet dripped down his hands, unnoticed tears appearing in his eyes without his consent. He was feeling dizzy, the lack of air combined with the whimpers leaving him light-headed. He grabbed wildly for his phone, managing to unlock it after several tries, finding Minhyuk's number and pressing call. It took a few rings before the other answered, and before Minhyuk could get as much as a word in Kihyun all but broke down over the speaker.

"C-come back, please, I-I need someone!"

~*~*~

Honestly, it wasn't even late, so Minhyuk didn't really understand why Kihyun insisted on going to bed already, but each to their own he guessed. With the clock just shy of 21.30, he and Changkyun were making their way to the nearest fast-food restaurant, craving for something unhealthy and full of calories-

Don't tell Kihyun that, though.

"Ah, isn't this nice, Kyunnie? Just you and me, ready to take on Chicago! Or, well, the nearest McDonalds."

Changkyun playfully shoved at Minhyuk's shoulder, before he pointed across the street. "What about that KFC over there instead? It seems closer, and I'm really craving some chicken right now."

"Oh, they serve Korean Fried Chicken here?"

Changkyun rolled his eyes at Minhyuk's teasing, quickening his pace and leaving the elder behind.

"Hey, wait! I was kidding, I know it isn't!"

Not long after they found themselves waiting for their food, Minhyuk paying, insisting it was 'his treat'. As if the members didn't dote enough on Changkyun already, but hey, he wasn't complaining. That was when Minhyuk's phone started ringing. The owner of the phone groaned, his hands busy with paying. "Hey, can you check who it is?"

Changkyun nodded, pulling the phone out of Minhyuk's pocket. "It's Kihyun-hyung," he stated, looking at the name. Actually it stood 'Tiny Hamster' but it was as good as the elder's name. "Want me to answer?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Changkyun swiped at the phone, putting it up to his ear, unable to get as much as a word in before Kihyun's broken voice appeared through the speaker. _"C-come back, please, I-I need someone!"_

Changkyun froze. It had been a long time since he last had heard Kihyun sobbing. He stood there for a bit, mouth trying to form words that didn't come out, oblivious to Minhyuk having finished paying.

"Hyung, I'm..." He trailed off, unable to continue his sentence to inform Kihyun of his identity as the elder sounded like he was hyperventilating, or at least close to it, a rather desperate sob sounding from the other side of the phone.

"We're on our way. Just-just breathe, alright?"

He removed the phone from his ear, covering the microphone as he looked at Minhyuk who was giving him a questioning glance. "I think Kihyun's having a breakdown. He needs help _now_ ," he informed. Minhyuk's eyes widened.

"Shit. Alright I'll- _oh, thank you."_ The food appeared atop the disk, and with a grateful smile Minhyuk grabbed the bag, giving a sharp nod to Changkyun. "Let's go."

As they quickly made their way back to the hotel Changkyun stayed on the phone with Kihyun, trying to reassure him the best he could. "Are you safe?" he asked, eyeing the red light at the crosswalk that just wouldn't turn _green_. 

"I'm- yeah I'm safe but-" Kihyun's voice got cut of by another sob, "but it- it hurts and I don't-"

"Alright Ki, just breathe then. We're there in a few minutes, just hold on." It was clear talking was hard for the other, and he didn't want to push him with his breathing so labored. Thankfully the traffic lights changed just then, and the two of them all but ran over the crossing, making it to the hotel on the other side in no time. They forced themselves to slow their pace and walk inside, not looking to cause any unwarranted suspicion, knowing Kihyun depended on them to come quickly. Shortly after they found themselves on the sixth floor, opening the door to Minhyuk and Kihyun's shared room. Changkyun ended the phone-call.

The real noise was worse than the one that had carried through the speakers.

Kihyun was sitting cross-legged on the floor, hunched over with his one arm around his waist, the other holding the now silent phone shakily to his ear. His whole body was trembling, his gasping breaths wet and quivering and loud. Minhyuk discarded the bag with food on the floor, Changkyun laid the phone on the small desk, and after toeing their shoes off they rushed to the vocalist, kneeling down on either side. 

"Kihyun, I'm here, we're both here, what's wrong?" Minhyuk asked, voice soft. "Hey Hyunnie, look at me." He laid a hand on either side of Kihyun's face after Changkyun had gently pried the phone from his cold fingers, and he forced the barely younger idol to raise his head. 

Kihyun slowly pried his red-rimmed eyes open, causing more tears to flow down his puffed cheeks, snot running from his nose.

"I'm- I- I don't know what's wrong, I just-" Another sob forced itself past his lips, and he made a feeble attempt to articulate with his hands what was wrong, but he came up short. He lowered his arms, but Changkyun caught one of his hands between his own, trying to warm up the cold digits. 

Kihyun was positively _freezing_. 

"Hyung, let's get you up," he murmured, and with Minhyuk's help he got him up on the bed. Minhyuk knelt in front of Kihyun, taking both his hands between his own, while Changkyun sat down beside the elder, slinging an arm around his shoulders and drawing him close.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Nope, that's wrong. Don't be sorry, don't worry about that. We just need you to calm down. Can you do that? Can you breathe for us?"

Kihyun made yet another feeble attempt at breathing properly, drawing in a huge breath and holding it perhaps a bit too long before he was forced to release it by another sob. The next breath came up short, and with each new try his breathing got quicker and quicker, in the end positively hyperventilating.

"Hyung!" Changkyun gently pushed Kihyun a bit away, prying one of Kihyun's hands away from Minhyuk's tight hold, placing it on his own chest. "Please, you gotta calm down. Breathe with me, alright? Draw in a breath, and out. C'mon. In and out. You can do it."

It took time, but between Changkyun's gentle coaxing and Minhyuk getting up to sit beside Kihyun too, rubbing his back, the vocalist's breathing slowly but surely stabilised at a proper tempo. With his lungs getting the oxygen they needed Kihyun's list of priorities seemed to change, and he all but thew his arms around Changkyun, hugging him tightly and crying into his neck. Changkyun let him, and he embraced him back, as Minhyuk continued to run his hand up and down Kihyun's back to comfort him.

For a while the three of them sat there, Kihyun crying his heart out. Changkyun wished he could do more, but in the end he just tightened his hold, hoping it was enough.

Kihyun's cries slowly quelled, and after sniffing a few times he leaned back up, guilty eyes locking at the damp patch on Changkyun's jacket.

"I'm-"

"If you say you're sorry one more time then you're really gonna be," Changkyun warned. Kihyun got the message, closing his mouth, eyes distant in a way that indicated he was thinking.

"Then... Thank you. I was pretty far gone there." Kihyun's voice was hoarse and quiet, but at least he wasn't crying. Minhyuk grinned, slinging an arm around the shoulders of his friend.

"You're welcome. Now, what was that all about?"

Kihyun shifted around, uncomfortable. "I really don't know. I was feeling really good when you left, but when I took a shower I suddenly felt cold, and a horrible feeling appeared in my stomach, and it all went downhill from there I guess? I really don't know."

"Hmm. Alright. Well, this all made me hungry, what about you? We bought enough food that it should suffice for all three."

"You sure?"

"Yep! You want the crispy, calorie-rich chicken, or the calorie-rich, crispy chicken?"

"What the- you said you wouldn't be getting something unhealthy!"

"Hey! Do you want some or not!?"

The two of them continued to bicker as Changkyun went to his own hotel room to get some of his stuff, deciding he would spend the night with the other two, knowing Kihyun would need it. The rest of the night was spent in the queen-sized bed, watching TV and diving into the chicken, Kihyun joining them too. A bit later, after having cleaned up and brushed their teeth, all three had squeezed together beneath the covers, Kihyun sandwiched in the middle, cuddling close. It didn't take long before all three was out like a light, relishing in the comfort that no matter what happened, they would always have each others backs.


End file.
